


I Mustache You About Your Alignment

by UndervaluedAgent



Category: The Order of the Stick
Genre: Awkwardness, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, I have no idea how this story derailed so much from the beginning to the end, KISS SCENES ARE MY NEW ENEMY, but oh well!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:07:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22535200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UndervaluedAgent/pseuds/UndervaluedAgent
Summary: The final straw that pushed Soon to become a paladin.
Relationships: Mijung Kim/Soon Kim
Comments: 11
Kudos: 3





	I Mustache You About Your Alignment

It was senior year, and Soon was zoned out in his 4th period class again (because this wasn't something he'd _really_ need in life) and thinking about the future.

_Just six more months and high school will be over. Just two more and I'll be a legal adult so I can move out and hopefully not talk to my dad again. I can't believe I still haven't picked out a career. At least I know that no matter what Liling says, I'm not becoming a stripper. Being a paladin might be nice, but is it really the life I want? I kinda want to be able to relax, and I don't know if I'll be able to if I'm---_

"Hey, Spoon, what are you doing? You're scaring me," Liling (who was to Soon's left) said.

Soon broke from his thoughts and turned to face her. "It's Soon. And I'm sorry for scaring you, but what are you talking about?"

"You're twirling your mustache. Only villains do that. Are you planning to kill us all?" Liling asked.

_Crap,_ Soon thought. He twirled his mustache sometimes as an idle fidget, though he never realized he was doing it until someone called him out. People mistook him for evil, but he really didn't want to shave his 'stache, so he had to deal with it.

"I-I apologize. I thought I had a handle on that, but I guess I don't. I'm not evil, and I'm sorry," Soon replied.

"Are you sure you're not evil? It's not like I can tell or anything. I'm a future stripper, not a paladin."

_Detect evil. Paladins have that spell, and they're also always Lawful Good..._

"That's it!" Soon whispered, "If I become a paladin, people will _know_ I'm LG, and I'll stop getting bugged about my mustache!"

"What?" Liling asked, "...Oh. So you're not becoming a stripper. But you're so hot!"

Soon turned red at this statement. "Ah, w-well, thank you..."

"I was _kidding_."

"Oh. I see," he said.

_I can't wait to get out of this dishonesty-ridden place._

***

It was several years later, and Soon was now twenty-four. He, Chao, and Mijung were on a diplomatic mission to Somewhere "(I know it's somewhere, but I'm looking for the name, not unhelpful directions)" and the three of them were checking into an inn for the night.

"Good evening, one room for three, please," Mijung said.

"Of course, that'll be 150 gp," the innkeeper responded.

As Mijung rifled through her cluttered bag, a child walking through the lobby pointed at Soon and asked, "Is that a bad guy?" The parent immediately hushed the kid, but Soon still heard and snapped his hands to his sides.

"Sorry, I can't find my money," Mijung started, "Can either of you---" Soon and Chao started ruffling through their own bags at the same time. Chao found 90 gp, and Soon found the other 60.

"Here's your room key, the room number's on it," the innkeep said, "Have a nice night."

"Thank you, you too," Soon called over his shoulder as Chao took the key and the group walked down to their room.

When the door opened, Soon walked in and collapsed on the left bed. Mijung took the center, and Chao took the right.

"I think I should finally shave my mustache. Everyone thinks I'm evil because of it," Soon groaned.

"Seriously?" Mijung asked, "But I think it's cute. Even though you'd also be cute without it, but I really like it a lot and I also, um, nevermind!"

Soon was turning bright red and smiling, and Mijung had a big, dopey grin on her face that also managed to be shy.

"You really think it's cute?" Soon asked.

"Of course."

"...Oh. Thank you, um, I guess I won't shave it then," Soon replied.

"OH MY GODS, WILL YOU DUMB AWKWARD BASTARDS JUST KISS ALREADY SO I CAN SLEEP IN PEACE WITHOUT ALL THIS FUCKING SIDEPLOT SHIT?!" Chao burst out, making the others in the room jump and someone in the next room bang on the walls.

"...Do-do you want to---"

Mijung gave a thumbs-up, walked over to Soon and kissed him. Soon froze in surprise at first ( _he did not expect the feeling to be mutual_ ) but he quickly got into it. Mijung felt a rush of excitement because _she was finally kissing Soon_. She couldn't quite place exactly what he tasted like because her brain was a buzzing, scattered mess and only sort of processing everything. She vaguely wondered if people were betting on this happening like what happens in those weird "gossip columns" (literally just fanfiction about Azure City's important people), but she quickly dismissed the thought and concentrated on the kiss---

"Twelve gods, you didn't have to kiss _that_ much. Chill out and go to bed," Chao barked.

_Shit._ Both Mijung and Soon had completely forgotten about Chao.

"Sorry," Soon said sheepishly, but his happiness outweighed the embarrassment. Mijung, on the other hand, felt far less shame than she probably should. Granted, her brain was still a mess, but still.

"So, does this mean we're dating?" Soon asked hopefully.

Mijung nodded and walked back to her own bed. "Goodnight, my dearest."

Soon chuckled, "Already with the pet names? Alright. Goodnight, beloved."

Chao clicked the lamp off and turned over. _I shouldn't have encouraged this. They're already disgusting and sappy._

"Wait, we're all still in our armor."

"Oh, for the twelve gods' sake!"

**Author's Note:**

> What just happened?
> 
> And how do people actually flirt? And kiss? Please tell me I did okay despite my complete lack of experience.


End file.
